“Filth of the devil’
Russell Kane is joined by actor and impressionist Luke Kempner, stand-up comedian Prince Abdi and comedian and actor Sharon Gavin to discuss the perils of losing your virginity. How, who, when and why do people always lie about it?
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Joe presents boys don't cry with me Russell came together with a sauce welcome to boys don't cry with me Russell Kane brought to you by Joe together with our friends at a sauce we've got a brilliant panel today but just in case you're tuning in for the first time ever let me just remind you the purpose of boys don't quite is simple why it's not been done before is an absolute mystery I get two blokes together and force them to discuss the things that women wish men would talk about we've all heard so many times why don't men talk about X those X's are talked about we talked about exes we've talked about fawn we've talked we talk about masturbation that's for sure we've talked about white height relationships monogamy violence alpha males you name it we've talked about in an open honest quite safe way mixed with spiteful mockery now again from me and we don't just do it with blokes though we also make sure we have what I it's an ironic title ladies to put the keyboards down the lady auditor purely because we will slip into well you know what girls think and the lady or didn't go excuse me order and she can jump in she thinks so it's form yet originally I've gotta be honest I set it up for men think it wouldn't be great if men could hear other men talk about stuff but inevitably guess who loves listening to this naughty filthy listening in girls with their ears at the keyholes that want to know why men like other girls pictures on Instagram movies and twinkles there's no mystery to it so here's our panel this week comic impressionist there were many voices of Luke Kemp nut Hanna comedian Prince Abdul I keep bumping into in dressing rooms then you have to come on any bloody has the fool thanks get assaulted hard in the ears an actor and comedian Sharon Gavin hello hi welcome how you sheriff very good very good to be here taking girls now you were just you were just saying something really interesting which is how comes is it not a girls don't cry but they sort of is in everyday life if I sit down with my female friends long long enough they will go well anyway so let me tell you what's been happening we've Darren yeah and it's all out there yeah but maybe you give that vibe they will tell you every but to the bloke that they're going out with for example they say they've got issues or they've got things that they want to sort of talk about they might not talk to him they will talk to their close girlfriends women do talk they do talk under each other yeah so that so what the thing is that probably men's listening skills speaking skills I don't know if you had a show about women sort of going what women really talk about the men would actually eavesdrop and hear the other side think so though because I feel like no disrespect if you are the hosts of some of those brilliant shows but I do feel like there are lots of places I can go to hear girls doing real girl talk whereas any man's stuff is I've taught you're off it's gonna win the league top them off movies episode seven and that's it there is nothing else yeah we're sort of in between that territory I think there's a truth a men are only just in 2019 finally would you agree Prince absolute brute soap did not arrest like a comedian prune is in the house would you agree oh yeah i 100% agree um we just like to keep things to ourselves and not put it out there like ladies do like why well what is it will hide it man was course going on I think was we have this fear that without when people walk personally I have this you know how I feel yeah yeah I didn't gets me going I'd be honest would be nice I cried because I lost my brother I just think about him when I just set it off something you're watching or something in everyday life or you're just a quiet moment yeah I was just on my own and then I just thought of him and I was like oh my god I just can't believe he's gone you know this is being almost three years yeah I just I just started crying oh my god we have spoken about going for news Butler's it's because I do think men and women have different ways of processing grief culturally there's a difference as well I don't know what your cultural background is yeah – taboo to cry and – like you couldn't you gotta be a man where as soon as you're born your parents from another yeah they're from Somalia right so so cuz it's interesting because when we've had guests on I don't know their parents might be from Mediterranean for it goes away my guest he comes from a more whaling where men like a lot of Middle Eastern cultures men are more likely to wail and cry Anissa sort of a sigh a sign of respect for someone that's lost it's interesting in Somali culture isn't it I mean I'm saying this for the first time so if my dad saw me cry it won't be a good sight you just won't be happy so it's just a total no no Somali male culture yeah we just we have to keep the stuff to us even in grief even in something as yeah you got to keep it yeah I was I think I went to the funeral I probably was the only one crying but I still walk away that's very that's almost like a British cultural thing you're describing they're gonna keep you you know realizes and stiff-upper-lip viruses spread that far may not but yeah I remember just like walk it away like I'm just bursting into tears right but then yeah it's just um it doesn't happen that often but every now name it would just comment just like I mean I think it's probably a balance I think sometimes women do over cry and you can be sort of oh yeah a nice you know sort yourself out well Michael she's gonna be here in a minute you're embarrassing the whole restaurant you're called hysterical you don't mean can you get that stereotype is thrown around she's bad over my exes to you know throw at me whenever I got upset isn't your hysterical you need to kind of like well I'm actually upset you know um but I do sometimes think that women can be over emotional and obviously men are the other way know sometimes it could be the opposite sometimes women can be the one you know the stalks a fire and the man could like I remember what I'm seeing this girl and I remember after things about eight months I told her I loved her and she went I don't I think you need you know like my wife lost her father likes we like a sudden heart attack and she's incredibly tough lot more obviously at the time you know she was there was a lot of grief around but even now like sometimes I'm not think you need to open up more because I think she hope and she's a twin we're so not her sister is a lot more has been a lot more sort of open with her grief than my wife has and that my wife's not sort of like anyone that all I do think I need to talk about it but I do think I think getting it out is a good thing you think the cultural aspect is important a lot and I know that no one on the panel is Scottish so and she should speak for herself but I'm not happen to know she's a Scot and I think there's quite a tough women oh yeah in Scottish culture like it's almost what you described as men the average Scottish woman is got that kind of I'm not gonna I'm not gonna fucking cry I'm fine I'm fine that is it you know and and and and it is even at the time I remember just sort of thinking like how is she going to do with this because I know this this strong woman that looks after me yeah but she you know yeah so but she's amazingly strong with it and then sometimes I think it's good to you know wow what a strength I mean this is little way off where I wanted to go throw ready but when I think when we say strength hmm that's a word that's been taken over by men it means big tough you know movable solid concrete some of the traits we've just been scrubber sometimes you can be stronger I go so wanky now I've always I wouldn't do stuff like this on this podcast but it can be stronger to be Oh open mmm your ability is a sign of strength isn't it yeah then sometimes people can exploit that and that's why I think personally that's why I'm not trying to be tough and keep everything to myself but who's gonna exploit it hot what do you mean but you mean like credit scoring a clear example I won't put anything on social media that I feel like people die for example is you know sometimes I do you feel like you're not going out there say no I cried you know I miss my brother but I feel like if I put that out there then some idiot would say something that will fire me up and all yeah to that level where it escalates yeah and then you know you might say something and then I'm like yeah but I think we said we talked on this podcast before about sort of is opening up about anxiety is opening up about feelings make you not able to be a strong man and I suppose that is where I would agree I don't think strength is just about holding it together I think if you are that person that that's fine if that's how you deal with something but I think it's also a sign of strength to be open and and then that will help that might help you deal with it yeah right anyway well that was supposed to be the show let's move on to something which definitely is funny virgins it's not a funny V it's a it's just something I realized we all spoke about – we were about 80 then stop talking about and I've near and never spoke about it again they dominated my whole mind for the first 18 years of my life that you can tell a lot particularly about a bloke I think maybe a geranyl correct is about girl as well about how long it took them to the zoo Virginie how they were how they lost it and if they were one of the ones like who struggled like me I was one of the last soldiers literally knocking down in that movie Dunkirk one one guys just in the plane at the end of condom bling no but I think this is my little theory Sheeran Gavin's gone gaviscon I think that though nerdy ones that were left on the shelf turned out to be the better blokes in the long run why and the suppliers who were plunging age 15 and banging everything that moved probably turned out to be the bastards disgust oh because I had to wait a little bit long before it work harder for it had to learn to had to learn to respect what women wanted and needed I wasn't blessed with height looks nothing had to engage the brain therefore if a man loses Virginia at 1920 and likes Dungeons & Dragons he's probably a legend no based on you I'm a legend I mean yeah you did you did sort of get the players that that did sort of turn out to sort of be the bad boys you know I don't know what they are like in later life because I sort of but yeah I don't know I think you're probably right I think those that were kind of you know getting on the sort of 1314 and was shaking around weren't the best but there wasn't the boyfriend that you wanted to go for I mean it's actually quite what's off quite sad really but well I I was brought up as an Irish Catholic you know it was really sort of like my condolences sorry yeah this is a place to share pain to me about you sort of having sex it was like when you're married and the penis goes into the vagina penis cocks yeah it was just like oh my god it's awful and when I did lose my virginity I was 17 but my boyfriend was a bit older but only about three or four years but I was embarrassed I pretended that I hadn't had was he actually in charge of a church by that point when we say older we believe I was 1718 night he was like 20 – 21 fair play but I was embarrassed I was a virgin which is really bad and said that I wasn't I think it was quite apparent when we dis leap together that I was yeah this is something we always find interesting because there's a stereotype about girls oh no I just need to be mean chaste because I do want to be judged men I just want to get light but from what I can remember and even more so now there is a rice to lose your V on both sides yeah there is on both yeah absolutely long for women either no I remember when I was 13 or 14 and the few mates of mine were like I think it's actually the girl should come up to me in front of all my friends and all of her friends and she we're numb you have urging and I said yes I was in no quite proud and they all just laughed at me it was called you for 40 that was 14 at the time I was like about 1314 Sherman was still out and I'm ranking back when they jumped at me and I just thought what and I was I was in shock but they were lost but virgins as well it's all from its nest yeah obviously it was different in my school because the I lost my 15 the last I remember you had been one of the last but my it was funny because you did you sign a sort of like the people that was shagging at fifteen ended up being the bastards well I just I'm throwing provocative theories out there but I but I think I think it was actually it's more sort of what's happening around at your school like where like it was like you know I think if there were people who were waiting to there were 17 18 I didn't know them like because every one of my mates and and the girls as well they were all tracking each other at secondary school yeah me as well like some of the girls got pregnant and what was there in school oh yeah yeah and like I mean I don't even area anymore but once sometimes I go back see old friends of mine and there's grandmother's that I like 35 Instagram page hots hot grandmas underscored before grandma's so you're 15 well let's come a little dancing we're all dancing around the subjects here there's two ways to lose in my experience of listening to people there's two ways to lose your virginity with the first person you fall in love with what I've called in a previous episode in bowler love above the love is that when you know when you fall in love so hard I'm gonna die from it if they go away for the weekend I can't breathe I've got a fever that I had to wait until I was in love fully fully committed ly in love with someone I was 17 nearly going on 18 we both love each other that's the way I lost it and then there is the under a bridge with a bottle of 20/20 method Luke let's when he turn you down it was that no mine was very much the first way yeah yeah but she was she was a couple years old an amazing there might be a documentary coming out about her she was like 17 I was 15 but I am was yet completely like gut-wrenchingly in love with this girl and it was and it was / and everything about it was kind of perfect you know it was it was on the night of comic relief it was just really because she wasn't a virgin but I was and it was 70 teachers enjoy when you're both virgins yes although saying that though when you're 15 and she's going oh I remember it was like my first time not when I read about that and why it was babe um I have to say my experience was amazing it was it was really it was really special so you don't hear that that's weird half the panel had an amazing loving consensual positive first experience it tends to be the rare hi I'm guessing you're gonna descent I actually lied when I met the girl I told of snow so many girls because you know if I told I was a virgin off wishing they were gonna like me yeah probably a princey story do when a girl was 18 HD is she more like to not want to be with a guy that's done that doesn't have experience cuz you think of the stereotype the other way around not for me personally I definitely would rather be the woman that knows her shit but you hear the stereotype that man doesn't want a woman that's to experience that's the sexy stereotype but to girls the other way around like well I wouldn't I didn't want him I did ask him and I don't know whether you obviously don't do it now but when you were younger you was asked how many people you know Christians and I did ask him and I think he said around 10 or whatever well which I thought was wrong yeah like I sort of a 21 year old yeah that's too bad you know no because I did want one of us to know what we were doing yeah just just thinking about it out on my first experience because I told him God I hope my mom never watches this oh she which she won't but when I when we first sort of went to sort of do it because I just said that I'd already you know had sex yeah I got he said he said put the condom on I was like I don't know how to s where it's gotten to the whole thing out and then tried to put it on like a sock what are you doing more spies I'm just the way you do it you do it you know but it was just so sad I actually talked was we actually wind it up went out for a few years I told him about 18 months later that actually I was a virgin he was just like gutted mmm but I hadn't told him at the time you know so sorry I cut you off me to flowy so you've told this you've done the similar thing because that old you at this point I was 19 19 is good a solid four solid he's just in under when he still ends in a teen it's just never so scared in my life I'm really petrified yeah is it because I like loving was it loving relate yeah yeah I love this is very unusual to have for people with this experience under a bridge is more common I was so she you know she she always like you know bad boys and I wasn't a bad babe I tried to pretend I was bad boy you know yeah my hair car got the mic tick surgery from that night to indicating swiftness not what you want to be saying to rings you playing a part I used to play a palm right where I fought yeah you know a nice to speak a certain way that she liked you know like a scouts after lunch stop yeah when did you stop this persona oh and you think actually this isn't me I think it took me about two years with her relay yeah then I thought look this is not me was the first experience okay though or was it sort of muddling over they're busy because mine was a bit muddled eBay thank you John deeply so it was fine I don't remember you know which is shaking I was so nervous like oh my god yeah and yeah it was it was yeah I think I came the first time really show off my bike I just standing I sort of knew that was where oh my god um my parents gonna kill me because the first on the sperm camera yeah that's a lie I used to masturbate before that my forearms like Popeye Oh scare their first toes the scariest thing it's good to admit that I see I think because we'd gone on a few few weeks well it's the other thing I wanted to say it's a slight generational thing going on in that if you had access to pornography before you lost your virginity although it can give you a warped skewed and perception of sex and some of it a lot of its misogynistic most of it is you do at least know the mechanical aspects of what you're supposed to do I magazines yes so I was lucky right like you know if I phrased it I've pre pre-internet my house you know I mean it's like we weren't looking about to afford Internet but there were access to lead there were videos going around and I approached it like I've approached everything stand up a levels with a scientific and I'm gonna know the name of each bit what each bit does the Heinz manual of the per nominee has been fully read and I was armed that's all you can do if you're the teenage nerd like I was all I could do is arm myself with information so when I first looked under the hood at the kit as it were all right I knew I felt interest on well I did I knew what I was doing and these people never talked about the positive aspects of porn because this is how many negatives but there is no bloody sex education so you're going into that virginity encounter not knowing anything about sex courtesy of school so what information did you have the first time you engage the enemy as it were this was things I've never really thought about it but now I do you think about it I think being with someone who was older than me and had had a previous partner actually was problem was was amazing because even when things like four players stuff that she taught me everything about what what was gonna happen and it's sort of like and she wants and she was really sort of nice about it and not sort of I would you don't know what you're doing so I was very sort of I'm very much a virgin so then actually and everything sort of you know as that as it went you know went on over over a couple of nights I sort of would like he he'll the stamina on the man so let's talk a little bit about six-six education that you got catholic background i come from like working-class background i got a do i call drop and run where my mom when I was about 13 book about sex dropped in the room she runs out the other side that was it nothing from school nothing no Mike no nothing drug run my dad literally said to me in his van he said keep it in your pants look and that was it that was that was the sex chat was about 13 and your mom no no and I remember I remember going out with a girl before I lost my virginity and she was like oh I'm gonna give you a blowjob and I was sort of lunchy text me and I was like I say so I was text telling my mates he's gonna happen this weekend cuz I met this girl in Butlins she was from Milton Keynes so then we were gonna she was gonna come a stay at mine for a couple days and she I'm gonna give you a blowjob and and so I told all my mates but two days to finish this myself I know what because I it didn't happen because I think as well what she was on her period and didn't want to tell me and so sort of anyway this stuff didn't happen but talking about parents I remember thinking what orders I'll talk to my older sister because she's up freeze over a nice guy wasn't come and give me a blowjob and she was like model talk about that and who shows up at the dinner site that you knocked on your sister's ah excuse me oh that's get sucked off but she's got a period can I talk to you for a second story I dreamed of hearing I have that storage but before look another come round but then want my sister but wait up like two days later at the dinner table I was really embarrassed and my parents didn't talk about it at all front of your parents yeah my sister did yeah oh my god yeah what so what happened there bunch of ain't quiet yeah went quiet and sort of laughed at me about it and then and then I didn't I didn't I and then it was sort of education was just from mates ask inmates that beneath rooster horn videos here say we need to fix the sex education system in this country now do you have your cock to have a religious background at all pretty empty yeah so is there a sex talk for Muslim boys front well I mean Muslim in your house in sectors so different culture sometimes well not use a bit to be to talk about sex so you had nothing at all no I remember that just telling me just don't bring a boy home you guys just don't you just don't bring don't don't bring me a boy and he goes yeah exactly we just wait till you know you you know you finish education and then so there was just an assumption that you would know what bits go where it's just information doesn't come across – I mean if it's something you don't he's not okay so that but you got don't know how everything if I hadn't taken the time to watch pornography I would not have had a clue I was obviously the basic mechanics we saw unknown I wouldn't had a clue what I was doing how I supposed to do it what bits are supposed to get twiddled here and there and everywhere and so I've just enjoyed you know if in your cultural background maybe then Isis I know right talk around the table moment I used to bring boys home all the time but they're what my mates like yeah hmm and my dad always used to like used to just cover to just look at his like because don't get too close to each other my dad was very like right-wing alpha male and I'm he's a bodybuilder steroid user really like powerful man and rugby player and I'm not copying dances off the TV still having my best friend stay in my room when I'm 15 me and mark look at him pretend we're doing time travel I all the fuck does that load oh yeah no I remember just coming from football in the mail gosh shorts on and we just sitting down watching footwork that's what we did just love football and then never met of us will come over and you watch for but my dad always used to come me ever look who I am any girls and it sounds like sayings my mates not me oh my god yeah well it's a move he's giving you the end destination without the information about how to get there this is classic yeah you know it's just never taught me I mean I didn't even know those gays or anything like that Anita's some of my friends are gays now that I went school week and I didn't know that that we gave them a football team he's hang out with we are gonna come few moments I want to find out about you know your history without getting the information but first of all we just got to take a short break we will be back in a moment with more boys don't cry but here's Alex Payne with something else from Joe thank you very much indeed it's just a moment will do for us to duck in and tell you about the House of rugby having a lot of fun what are we trying to do with the show why should people be watching a listening [Laughter] this is going into another showed so that people come and watch us oh hello nice people right well we should basically watch how surreal because it's unbelievable humor we don't talk about any rugby and we give you the inside track from people who are still actually involved in rugby not old six year olds who don't know anything good tense your view yes you see we try and offend anyone who possibly works against the English so the Irish have been hit hard we'll just building up to the Welsh and then we're gonna finish off by putting down to reiterate we are a family show despite the 30-second trail including there we go you can download this by YouTube you can make your why as you know we're very professional outfit by YouTube and downloads by I choose I hope you'll join us at some point it's a lot of fun really thank you Alex now this is the point where I have to pay for this show by talking about the sponsor easily done boom this is from ASOS these from a sauce the trainer's makes everything I sit in is from freaking a sauce no need to pretend I use the product if it weren't for Nikon if it weren't for a sauce I'd be naked and shivering in in the street so thank you for sponsoring our eyes as you too can express yourself wherever you want with clothing that will give you the confidence to push the boat out a bit but not too far try something new you don't have to look like me and if you do look like me there is a factory and counseling available to help you in there it's created by a sauce styled by you a sauce design check out the latest pieces on a sauce calm for – men or just look at me when I'm on stage because I will be wearing a source stuff discount code please a sauce would be appreciated right we've been talking about virginity when you lose your V plate so ever you want to phrase it we've had annoyingly quite nice stories of love and tender experiences but we're trying to work out how much information people had when they first came on the pond to that sexual equipment or not is in Luke's case to that first sexual experience so Sharon Catholic I'm guessing the nuns didn't tell if you took God's out there what they're doing right now defeat the devil inside each other I got nothing apart from I knew I won one of four so I'm the youngest so obviously I kind of want a small family isn't it for gas leaks normally well I'm second generation so my mum was like one of 12 my dad was so well that's more like it I'm looking for exactly and we you know my generation four was sort of quite big really yeah and I was younger said obviously kind of picked up loads from my sister and my brothers real kind I kind of knew what it was obviously there was a little bit school but I think it was just a one biology lesson wasn't it I've just saw stuff is totally removed from the reality oh we have about a glass of wine I've got this girl's pants down everything's going on I know nothing I received at school helped me with that moment now and it bloody well should in my do you think that with sex education at school they should show you the art of lovemaking I think relationships boundaries consent and sex is slightly different from a sperm and an egg creating a baby and it but they shouldn't be separated they should or they shouldn't be they should be part it should obviously be porn it should be like I'll be honest lads I've got a bit of a sore throat so we're gonna watch bangers and muffs for bonny end of it all your questions should be answered you need charismatic hilarious everything about it was just a naked lady this is right so we found out we got information that naturally leads on to something up touch with your episodes we spoke about is that experience of first love it's not pleasant is it that first hurts I'm trying to think remember positive I'm trying to remember positive stuff about the only positive stuff is what I learnt from it feeling of it in the bin is it's pure yeah and I went through a couple of times of absolute last week and it was six months but at the time I was like well they cease cuz it's been the longest relationship past two weeks and I lost my virginity to her and everything about it was just like and and your honor I remember at the time just thinking I will never get over this pain I'll never ever survive these were than a diet I actually thought I was going to die off the kitchen yes I sing we got together will you 17 hurts give her three years with this girl lost virginity together totally this did you think it could be for life everyone's saying that you're only 17 big that you like don't patronize me this is fucking forever read Romeo and Juliet bit younger than me this is forever and it wasn't forever and she split with me and I didn't realize that as an adult you could cry like when you were 7 years old yeah I know you I didn't know and I don't could cry like that she gets to 1415 you know like you know I don't own it choir mm-hmm I'm a man now sort of thing playing a similar sort of part to you a play and by the sounds of it my version of it and then I found myself on the kitchen room and the kitchen floor with my mum trying to pick me up and you're just thinking I might I might stay alive for two more days but in the end I'm at some guy in Sweden feels what every iCarly I mean so Tremaine you are gonna die from it it doesn't go away actually you can still get heartbroken yeah yeah I mean I wasn't heart breaking over myself first love I finished with him but the pain when I was sort of in my late twenties you know what I felt was the real love of my life then I came home one day and he was just I don't I don't want to be was that your real first love though do you think my no cuz I did love my first boyfriend I was with him for four years so I did really love him but I grew him so I went for a sort of you know is we all sort of like a bit of a bad boy that older the nice picnic for my a-levels who's very working-class I thought he was cool help with the homework yeah you know I went to drama school where ice week really grew apart and I you know but the second one that I had which was another love of mine you know isn't my late 20s and I remember doing a demand festival and I came back I think looking back at probably is quite self obsessed with myself and just doing Shaye's and he was just very steady in my life just a rock and I came back and he was just like when one day was just like really pale and wasn't me speaking and I was like you know what what's the matter I had absolutely no idea and he was just like I just don't think we're right for each other I just don't think I'm in blue out of the blue it was like as if he might as well have been run over that's how it felt because it was just completely out of the blue and even then in my late 20s I was sick what's your downtime how many how many days in bed Dubey days a long time and it's actually quite similar my mum came over I just phoned her up and I'm not even that that close to my mom you know I'm really close to my sister being in times like that I actually needed my mom half the amount of the relationship is how long it takes to write it took me I was with him for about three and a half years and it did take me good year in a home you know my first love line and how deep they go I was so much in love with her I'd do anything for her and then I remember when I was 19 she was 18 and then I helped her get a flat and once you got a flat I did the flat up I did the floors I did everything bought a bed and then one day like I was just like wanted to see her like and she was like I'm busy today I'm busy okay so then I was driving past her flat I'm sorry bloke going in this is not right this is before Amazon Prime remember cuz I have a spare key no you didn't I did um a and a winning in the bed of this guy in this so you got you later UN encrypting choirs I'm like and the pain honeymoon aware a waffle I thought I got a heart attack so come on so here you get yourself in the door and nose of stairs so I went up the stairs I think I didn't close the door behind me there that you a fucking cow onload boat went upstairs and I was like I couldn't even speak and she went oh my god then he got out did you burst in just a Nigerian did you do a broken sad face sad face shot by I think it's worse a fellow was like I'm just I had no idea I had no idea he was our brother I swear down I have no idea but then I kind of realized that she was playing both I was he would have been like oh you know you could always throw sweets burst as anyone experienced that burst it's very rare to meet someone who's out who's done a full I could mean I have a person I noticed experience that is a is a JSON who sometimes comes lady auditor she did a full walk in when she's ain't like it was like a movie seriously I've seen it in films and outside I've always wondered is it worse I'll beat just to get the female versus to male perspective on this to walk in on someone who is like you similar class similar background or is it worse if they're the opposite of you is there I always think if I walked in and the guy was like nothing was another comedian of it like me that's why I could be it's what isn't worse whereas if she was shagging like a ginger stockbroker from Iceland ah be like yeah no I'm never gonna was able to compete with a ginger Sorensen the first time I experienced this so for me it was just a bloke so another guy another penis was like one there and then I remember just like just walking off I just cuz I said to myself just get out get off because you can do something very dangerous here I know where the kitchen yeah I think run down to the kitchen and get a knife and and that's how let me just go if you have to walk in on someone if you had to tomorrow there's two doors and it was honest to McGowan it's yeah it's alistair mcgowan or it's someone who works for the UN and does aid work and there's nothing like what you do so that someone isn't banging your missus it's I was doing McGowan going yeah I see really big things for this relationship not doing hilarious voice is why your wife doing an impression of me I think women will be like what did you see if I can make guys what's wrong you but for a man I think it makes a massive difference to my rebuild process over the next two years they could be worse if it was similar to me worse yet unlike not good enough and you found the better version of me instead of the complete opposite you got two dollars showing you can walk in the same jobs you similar looks totally different different I think you shouldn't make a difference that's what wouldn't kind of process it does to men she was really really beautiful much more beautiful than me impossible I would find that worse because I'd be like he can get someone like her and she's what they're paid to that's an interesting twist on it so but let's run the experiment of his penis is a lot larger as well yeah you see like the base with me if it was larger than mine Arkansas by the experiment right so green so you current in relationship were you gonna wall you have to walk in through a door play my thought experiment now it's painful you have to walk into a cheating door through one door is a guy really ugly much uglier than you and that's how your woman's gonna run off with through the other door is a really really good-looking guy buffers fuck then it's a Nigerian teacher who saw himself out told you this is vagina which to which door is worth see it's so funny you say that because my brain goes the complete opposite place of sharing I would rather know that I couldn't compete with that guy he's a fitness model therefore no problem at all where it means some totally thick yeah no I know I'd be like if it was just someone similar than to me I'd be like you're a fucking idiot because I'm much better dude I mean but if she was completely out of my league and she was really really gorgeous then I would feel intimidated by that look yeah I think my prince thinks I think it would be no worse if they were ugly yeah so be better if they were better-looking to me they look on same page man yeah I because I because then I'm just sort of like well I think that's rock on no no I think it'll be worse for me if the guys like much better-looking yeah yeah yeah you've been really honest guys just to bring it quickly back to Virginie for the last one when you look back you're 15 to 19 year old sales quite a range how do you see the difference between how you've developed as a person sexually barber blood you even recognise that person you were on that first encounter do you have sympathy to that person do you laugh do you do you detach yourself from who you were and maybe who I am doing so I don't have any regrets from why I've been through I think made me stronger person and just I think a better person as well because when I was cheered on I was I just became like I didn't trust anyone I had trust issues so if soon as again to a relationship would she like check her phone and very clear that's what I would yeah yeah I took it took me a while yeah and then then I mmm I got married and then she had trust issues all right I know I was like oh god this is what it felt like for those I know yeah and it's horrible horrible feeling and then when that happen and I got divorced and then it took me about another couple of years you know just to sort myself out and just become but find myself in a way I went to India but I didn't but just to find myself and then I met a really special girl who wasn't there and then she was yeah she she's cool like you recognize I think my attitude towards um I suppose this is all twined into one with sort of attitude towards sex NASA attitude towards relationships is different now um I got married quite young I got married at 29 I think my advice to people who are a bit younger is junk get so sort of tangled up in relationships don't think it's the buildin end oh I know it's very hard to tell someone that cuz I think it's on and told me that I don't know what you're talking every any sign of sexual relationship I have has to be loved and everything has to been so important and I know then after about four years of that I then went had a year of not doing that and and sort of rebelled against why done for four years and I thought I feel like my advice to people is just just don't get – don't think everything is so important a good one to finish on Sharon you've got a son right yeah how old's your son so he's six so yeah it's not gonna be a million miles away before he's 12 and it's quite we've got really unusual set setter so I live with my son and my sister and her daughter so we both got divorced and all moved in together last night yeah is actually really really amazing but sometimes like you know it's quite a female environment for him so like it's me and my sister obviously Florence my niece and then there's just him you know like and I see the differences like an you know even this morning we got an echo yesterday and he loves rock music so he was up this morning from 6 o'clock in there playing rock music it's driving me and my sister and Florence mad you know we want Taylor Swift you know when I'm mouth cars we can't this rock music you know daughters I'm so sick of shaky of if I hear again but we can I can say see they're different just between us being girls you know and I'm like when he's you know as he sort of gets older me sitting down having two faces been even he's had problems with these Willy you know and I'm like I haven't got one of those I'm like looking at it and going getting the city to cream out is it hurting when you're weighing or and I'm like shit I don't you know his dad's not here you know he does have a dad but I always used to think before I had my daughter I'm not gonna be when I was parent I'll be like this she's saying she's average I know this is a pain but it never stops looking like a little baby yeah she still looks like a little baby I'm guessing she's still gonna like a little baby when she's 11 16:21 right that's the way it rolls so at what point do you stop yourself repeating the mistakes of history is there is one good technique I heard is that if they're old enough to ask a question that's your door to go in you should answer and that's where that so when the first time they say their debates they don't give a toddler answer making toddler language give a full-on oh really that's interesting so if the question has been asked how do I be get there you don't give like a the same god yes god yes Jesus Mary it was the magic surely if he says where does the baby come from when he's old enough to know the answer that's the school that there was a school thing that is that if a baby pass why is the sky blue you should try and explain well because blah blah blah this gasps he's up there we've arrived I said we'd you know the penis guess so minna minna my daughter has so far said to me about how about where does baby grows all that grows inside the tummy and the mom pushes out but twinkle at the end can you believe that come out of the tummy this is where it comes actually not three she knows how the baby exits I did not dress that up but I did in fun language exam you got a little bit about what Luke saying earlier about the giggling in secondary school I perceiving Elevens too late whose hormones start to come in the embarrassment comes in where's a six-year-old well he's quite capable understanding that information without the sex education I think it starts around 9:00 you think next time you get asked a question that based on this discussion so even these three damaged lads next to you I mean actually is interesting that I think you're probably right but how do you how do I say to him just answer the question where do babies come from it's quite simple debate this is how this what makes a babies there's two ingredients one man has one woman has the other the ingredients are put together if they say how you have to tell him yeah mmm it's only one step on what you sending to the normans and getting back what is 60 my daughter asked me when she was six and I freaked out Xuan daddy would know where do babies come from and I freaked out I was thinking thinking the show and I already know like what mommy told me right we're out of time that's the end of boys don't cry this week thanks to our friends at egg sauce and of course my guest Luke Kem no Prince Abdul and Sharon Gavin don't forget we're a podcast and a YouTube show so leave us a review or comment if you like if you don't like it how how the hell have you got this far into it and have continued listening just to not like something that's it's more about you fuck off thank you for listening the boys don't cry brought to you by Joe together 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